A parody of atheistic delusions
PARODIES (based on real conversations and events)
A PARODY OF THEISM
What is theism?
Theism is the lack of belief in the proposition that God does not exist.
What does that mean?
This means that theism believes in nothing.
Theism is the most common position.
An atheist claims that there is no proof of God. We just don’t believe that claim. Everything else you add has nothing to do with theism.
We are just waiting for the atheists to prove and provide us with proof that God does not exist and then we can forever believe that God does not exist.
Is there anything funny here?
HISTORY OF ATHEISM
God created the world and people.
One day, a man came out into the street and said:
– People, let’s be reasonable. God does not exist! As of today, I am an atheist, a man who has a “lack of faith in God”.
People said:
-Why do you suddenly have a “lack of faith in God”?
Atheist said:
– Because there is no proof that God exists. I don’t see the proof anywhere.
The people said to him:
– So aren’t you, as a creation of God, a proof? Where do you come from then?
Atheist:
-From nowhere and from nothing.
People:
-How do you know?
Atheist:
– Scientists told me. Scientists have very clever theories that they make up in their heads based on selected evidence.
People:
– So you don’t believe in God the Creator, but you believe in the claims of scientists?
Atheist:
-Not. I don’t believe in God. That means I don’t believe in anything.
ATHEISTIC KNOWLEDGE
Atheist:
– Atheists are the most intelligent beings who just need to use a funny emoticon and win the debate.
Me:
– Isn’t that a complex?
Atheist:
-It’s not. Our omniscience gives us the right to win the debate with a funny emoticon because no one thought of it before us.
Me:
– So in reality you make fun of other people. Funny emoticon is proof that atheists know and the whole world doesn’t?
Atheist:
-That’s right. We have that right even when we know nothing and understand nothing. We don’t even know what our questions and demands mean, but what do we care, let others suffer with our invented rules, questions, demands.
Me:
– Aren’t the questions and demands you ask demonstrably incorrect?
Atheist:
– Yes, but we don’t agree with that. We simply consider everything we invent in our heads as reality, so it doesn’t matter if what we do is wrong, it only matters that we determine in our minds what is real, what need and should be done. It does not matter at all that our statements and questions have nothing to do with either science or truth. Let’s say, we ask two demonstrably incorrect and ignorant questions, “what is the proof of God” and “which God?”.
Me:
– So you know that these are absolutely wrong questions and you ask them again?
Atheist:
-Yes.
Why did I write this text?
When talking to atheists, you must know that you are dealing with mind wanderings, not evidence as the atheist insinuates.
WORD SALAD
You’re walking down the street and you meet a friend who tells you that he just went to the cinema and saw a very nice movie, and he tells you about it. You:
- You say to him “word salad”.
- You tell him how stupid he is for watching movies.
- You tell him that he is forcing a single mind because he is obviously trying to convince everyone that the movie is great.
- You envy him that he knows how to choose a good movie to watch and you think that you will never be able to do that.
- You ask him for proof that he was in the cinema and watched the movie (and if he shows you the tickets for the cinema, you realize that the proof you had in your head is not valid).
- You explain to him that he was not in the cinema, nor did he watch the movie, but that these are just fantasies from his mind.
- You tell him that the cinema does not exist, but that our ancestors invented it so that they would have something to rule over people.
- You are happy because he enjoyed the movie and you ask him where he saw it, so you go see the same movie.
- You say that God and cinema are not the same even though you have no idea about God.
- The rest. (enter yours if missing).
HOW THE ATHEISTS TAUGHT ME TO LIVE
I know that I was at work yesterday and that I worked. However, I couldn’t be sure because my subjective experience can’t possibly be proof that I worked (as atheists claim). So I remembered and called my boss on the phone and asked him if I worked yesterday.
He told me that I was checked, which means that I was at work and that I was working.
Thank you atheists for teaching me to live rationally.
After this success, I might change my mind.
I realized that my boss is the same as a scientist.
If my boss ticked me, then that’s sure proof I’ve been at work, right!?
My experience and knowledge are not important.
ATHEISTIC PHILOSOPHY
The believer sincerely seeks God with all his heart and finds Him. Then he/she has a direct proof of God through his/her direct experience.
An atheist sits at home and waits for scientists to bring home proof of the existence of God (which means never).
Example:
At gunpoint, the robbers robbed a man and took his money and jewelry.
Believer:
When the authorities came to investigate, he explained to everyone what had happened.
Atheist:
He cunningly waits for the forensic experts to come and explain to him with the help of evidence what happened to him (because he does not know, what he survived is no evidence for him).
Here I only wonder, will he ask the forensic experts for evidence that their evidence is valid?
Therefore, what is unclear here, and what have I not proven?
ATHEISTIC SCIENCE (aka, ridiculous aversion to faith)
Atheist Scientist:
– I know that the Earth is round, but I don’t believe in it.
NEWS TODAY:
Yesterday, Batman, Superman and Spider-Man jointly declared that they do not have a Creator.
– Everything happened by accident. We are the kings of the Universe. The only thing that exists is us and the Universe. – they said.
When asked if they will exist when they die, Batman, Spider-Man and Superman replied:
– We are not ordinary people to die. We are eternal. Ask atheists, they know.
NEWS TODAY (aka, another parody)
Santa Claus and leprechauns have stated that there is a high probability that they will join Batman, Spider-Man and Superman in their philosophy.
We asked Santa why:
-Spiderman’s philosophy that we have no creator and are eternal is much better than the atheist philosophy because it shows that we are more permanent than atheists. Atheists say that they exist and that one day they will die, so they will not exist. So how do they exist?
NEWS TODAY (aka, the third parody)
Odin, Zeus and Thor said today that they will no longer make statements to the newspaper.
When asked by the journalist why, Zeus answered:
– Some new atheist scientists have appeared who claim that we do not exist. Regardless of the fact that we exist in nature and reality, atheists claim that we are made up in the mind. Our mistake is that we thought that atheism was the only ideology created in the doubt of the mind. So we have to wait for the developments, what the atheists will prove to know if we are real or not. Because until we know that, we must not mislead people that we are real.